Day 4: On foods and origins

As I looked through my meagre supply of edibles, I began to wonder how exactly the founders of differing nations and ethnic backgrounds managed to take the flora and fauna around them and create such interesting and complex meals. Dinners that require several hours worth of pre-cooking and several hundred ways to completely destroy the dish beyond edibility.

While stirring my bizarre concoction of hamburger, apples, potatoes, and whatever assorted spices and other nasty things I found in my pantry, I fervently hoped that some poor historical chump with a similar tact for recipe creating as mine one day broke out of culinary obscurity with a meal so other-worldly that people claimed it as genius. Not saying that what I made was genius, because if it is, I do not feel like eating any more "genius" for quite some time.

I realize now that what I really need to do if I ever want to break into the world of high class eatery is not make something incredibly complicated or sophisticated, all I have to do is create a new delicacy. Webster defines a delicacy as "Something pleasing to eat that is considered rare or luxurious". But by comparing that definition to popular delicacies such as Escargot (raw snail) or Caviar (salted fish eggs), I will make the assumption that this new delicacy simply has to be one of the things that all of us were dared to eat as kids.

Ice melt, any root dug up, parts of trees, and eggplant. These could all be candidates, except for the first one's tendency to do fairly rough organ damage, the second one's 50/50 chance of being lethal, the third's almost 100% chance of being inedible, and the fourth one's classification as a berry but having no good qualities of berries. The only thing left to do is to find a willing food snob and then begin to feed him parts of dead animals (or whole dead animals, if small enough) that no one else will possibly want until he decides that he has found something worthy to be called a delicacy, he calls it quits on account of liver failure, or dies.

I will keep you posted in case I do end up being the new food sensations so that you will know what not to order for your next fancy gala.